Giving Up So Soon, Remus?
by cheese on Toast
Summary: -AU- Remus is dreadfully ill- but in his own mind, that is. There's one person who can save him, but can she come in time?


(Sadly, I don't own Harry Potter. ...even sadder, I don't own Remus Lupin. But I do own Hinata, my lovely OC in this story, and the disease Hypodextria. Also, this was written more then a year ago, back in May 2007, so it's a little bit different then my lovely psycoanalyst stuff and my normal writing style, but I still think that it's good. Long, yeah...REALLY long...but good.)

**_and thus, he was fading, but she was trying her hardest to pull him out of It. _**

* * *

"Um, hello?"

"Hm? Oh, what is it?"

"I….I'm here to see Remus Lupin."

"Oh. Right this way, ma'am."

The sturdy security guard led her down the hall of cells, twirling the keys in his hands. She followed him gingerly, her footsteps echoing around her. She wore a long corset dress with skulls and ribbons and a red hem. A black netting shirt was underneath it and wrapped around her arms, and her astonishingly pretty pale face was framed by long locks of black hair. Her hair was pulled back into a long bun with two long sticks poking out of it made of china and engraved with ribbons and skulls, and her chipped black fingernails sunk into her palms. She looked at the occupants of the cells apprehensively; all seemed mad. No. This could not be what her brother was. Her brother would be able to keep his sanity….right?

She shook her head. No. Never doubt that, she told herself sternly. Your brother is the sanest person you know, and he would never go mad like everyone else here.

The security guard finally reached the door at the end of the hallway. "Through here, ma'am." he said, jerking his thumb at the door.

She nodded, swallowing. "Er….thank you."

He nodded and shuffled off. She slowly turned the doorknob and walked into the hallway, shutting the door behind her. There was only one cell here, and it was all the way at the end. She walked forward, picking up her pace, until she reached the end of the hall. Her brother was leaning against the wall, his eyes dull and off in space, looking more ragged and thin then ever.

She tapped on the bars with her nails and he jerked his head up. Her eyes, rimmed with black eyeliner and red mascara, widened and her black lips streaked with red broke into a small smile.

"Hello, brother." she murmured softly. Her brother, Remus, struggled to his feet and stumbled over to the bars of his cell. His dull brown eyes rimmed with gold stared at her face. She took in his appearance; it was as if he was in Azkaban. He looked hollow and gaunt and raggedly horrible. Oh, duh, she contradicted. Of course….this was pretty much Azkaban.

"H-Hinata." Remus's voice sounded as if it hadn't been used in decades. "W-what are you d-doing here?"

"I came to visit you." Hinata said. "I'm your sister. Why wouldn't I want to?"

Remus looked down. "I thought you didn't want to be seen with someone as mad as me."

"Aww, come now, Remus, you aren't mad, you're the sanest person I know!" Hinata said, trying to cheer him up. "Look…." she dug around in her black skull bag and pulled out a deck of cards. "I brought some cards with me. We can play Go Fish if you want….like we used to do."

Remus scoffed. "What we used to do and what we do now is different, Hinata, you of all people should know that."

Hinata took a step back. "Remus…" her tone was warning, but Remus continued.

"Hinata, you stand there like nothing's changed, when you know damn well it has. You don't know what it's like being stuck in here. You have no idea how hard it is. It sucks out loud, it just sucks, do you hear me, Hinata? Nothing you do can change that!"

"Remus Lupin, do you hear yourself?!" Hinata hissed, stomping forward and grabbing his shoulders. She shoved him up against the bars so that he had to face her. Hinata seethed with anger, her tone bitter. "You sound as if you've given up! You can't! Do you hear what the guards say? They say that if you don't get better, Remus, you're going to be killed. Murdered. Slaughtered. Killed, Remus, killed! Do you want to give up life? Do you want to stay like this? Remus, you never used to be like this! You used to like life, have a positive attitude! But look at what this disease has done to you! It's landed you in Azkaban and all of a sudden you're the king of depression. Get a grip, Remus! You used to want to live! Remus, what is wrong with you? I know this sucks, but you have to hang on!"

Remus pulled away sharply. "Who cares about hanging on? There's nothing to hang on to! There's nothing, Hinata, do you hear me? Nothing at all! You can't do anything for me. And I'll be glad if they kill me. Nothing in this world has meaning anymore. And I want to give up, sister. I hate this world and everyone in it. Even you."

Hinata let out a vehement growl of frustration and her arm shot out; Remus ducked just in time to avoid her black-handled white knives.

"Weak." he spat, straightening. "Is that all you're going to do? Is that all you're going to do to try and save me? Well, it's too late, Hinata. You can't save me, no matter how much you want to pretend for your sake that you can. You can't save me, Hinata, you can't."

Hinata reached in through the bars and curled her hand around her brother's wrist. He looked at her with a glare that turned to confusion and surprise as her grip tightened as she broke his wrist. He let out a wail of pain and clutched his wrist to his chest.

"Fine, then." Hinata snarled. "Be killed. See if I care. If you've given up, Remus, then you deserve a broken wrist, you deserve a broken life. You won't go to heaven like me and I'll never see you again because you're mad. You're crazy, Remus, to give up. Let the devil take your soul, brother, and see if I care. See if he mends your wrist, see if anyone else does, because I sure as hell won't."

And with that, she began to storm down the hallway.

"Hinata, wait! Come on, Hinata, you don't mean that! Hinata, don't leave!" Remus called, his eyes suddenly wide and desperate, and Hinata paused. She spun around.

"Oh, I mean it alright, Remus. You've given up on life, you've given up on your soul, your sanity, and you've given up on me."

She turned around but didn't walk away. Hinata's eyes began to tear and black streaks of eyeliner ran down her pale cheeks. Her hair fell into her copper eyes that were welling faster with tears.

"You…you don't care anymore." she sniffed. "Remus, this…this disease has destroyed you. You don't care about me anymore. I hate you. So stop trying to call me back, alright?"

Hinata walked down the hallway and to the door. She opened it and turned back to Remus, who was watching her from the far end of the hallway with sad eyes.

"Good-bye, Remus." she murmured.

"Good-bye, Hinata." he whispered, his eyes forlorn. Hinata stopped suddenly, halfway out the door. But she then narrowed her eyes.

"I told you to stop calling me back. You're not gonna get me to talk them out of killing you, brother. You're not gonna get me to do that." she muttered, and slammed the door behind her. She walked down the hall to the security guard, where she looked at him.

"Erm, sir…" Hinata started softly, looking at him. He looked up from his desk.

"Yes, ma'am?" he asked.

"Please, call me Hinata." she said. "Um, I….I was wondering, if….if they had made the decision about my brother. You know, to…..to kill him."

The security guard blinked. "Well….you sure you want to know?"

Hinata nodded fiercely. The security guard sighed and began to ruffle papers. Finally, he extracted an envelope and handed it to Hinata.

"It's all in here." he said. "And, by the way….I'm Lee."

Hinata giggled a bit, putting the envelope in her purse. "Lee, like Rock Lee?" she asked with a smile.

Lee laughed. "Naruto fan, eh?"

Hinata nodded. "Why do you think my name's Hinata?"

Lee grinned. "You doing anything tomorrow night?"

"Nothing in particular." Hinata said, beginning to grin a little bit herself. "Why?"

"Well, I was wondering….you want to do something, say, see a movie? I could take you out to dinner, maybe…"

Hinata smiled, her eyes lighting up. "Sure. I'd like that, after my brother's actions."

Lee nodded. "I'll call you?"

Hinata nodded. She gave Lee her phone number and waved good-bye, walking out the door.

When she returned to her apartment, she greeted her dog Akamaru with a rub on the head and a treat. Akamaru curled up beside her as she flipped open the letter.

**Case #54673**

**Remus Lupin**

**Disorder: Hypodextria **

**Hypodextria, the disease of the mind and health, in most extreme cases would require medical attention, but we've decided that Remus Lupin was beyond medical attention. Locked in Azkaban, he got worse and worse, and the final decision is to be killed.**

**The execution is to be carried out at three thirty in the afternoon five days from today by Mr. Jack Brown, Head of Hypodextria Examinations and Azkaban Imprisoning, by way of knife (not beheading, we don't want him to be decapitated at the funeral). **

Hinata roughly shoved the letter back into the envelope and sighed, tossing it aside. She stroked Akamaru on his head gently, looking down into his loving brown eyes. The pup stared up at her with sympathetic eyes, as if he too knew what had happened back in Azkaban between her and Remus.

Hinata hugged Akamaru to her and sighed, blinking back more tears.

"Oh, Akamaru….what would you do? If you were in my place, would you have said such things to Remus? If you were in the council's place, would you have decided to do this? If you were in Remus's place, would you have decided to get Hypodextria? He went so much downhill after Sirius died….those two were like brothers." she murmured into his fur. Akamaru whined and liked her cheek, tasting her tears. Hinata giggled and gently set him down on her bed.

She sat there for a while, thinking over the conversation and her thoughts on her brother and how he had gone completely nuts at the aspect of Sirius's death. The two had always been close, and the loss of his best friends must have hit him so hard. So hard that he forgot about Hinata, his sister, his only living family member. How could he have forgotten so easily about the woman who had been his only solace? How could he?

"How could he?" Hinata murmured, flopping back against her pillows, her hair swirling about her. "What happened?" Her hair fell elegantly out of it's bun and she looked a bit like a floating corpse in the water of an ocean with her hair spread about her head.

Hinata fell asleep like that, and woke up to the phone ringing the next morning. Grumpy and miserable, she pointed her wand at the phone to shut it up but in her languished manner her mind mixed up the spells and instead she brought the phone closer. The ringing blaring loudly in her ears, she finally just picked it up, shoving it angrily against her ear.

"What?" she snarled, rubbing her eyes tiredly and smearing her makeup.

"Hinata? It's Lee."

"Lee?!" Hinata exclaimed, jolting up. Of course. He had promised to call her. How could she have been so rough? "I'm sorry! I just woke up….I'm really sorry."

Lee laughed. "It's perfectly understandable. Listen, Hinata, I just heard about when they're….when they're going to….to, um, do it to your brother."

"And?" Hinata inquired, biting her lip tensely, completely forgetting about what she had read in the envelope.

"I was wondering, since they're doing it five days from now," Lee stared, "if you wanted to come see him one last time. He's been asking for you."

"I told that rotten piece of filth that he couldn't call me back anymore to help him." she hissed. "Why would I want to see him?"

"Well….I could tell you'd come back anyway." Lee said softly, and she could tell, by the way his tone went, that he was smiling. "You know….for me."

Hinata laughed. "Mm, well, that just makes it all the more pleasurable, doesn't it? You little sneak, Lee."

"Ah, well, it's one of my best qualities."

After smiling for a moment, she then sighs. "Well….I guess I could. You say Remus has been asking for me? Why on earth would he?"

"I'm not sure." Lee murmurs softly. There was then a caterwaul and a scream of 'GIVE ME THE CHEESECAKE!' from the background, and Hinata raised an eyebrow as Lee sighed on the other end of the phone. "I'd better go break up the fight. See you later, Hinata."

"Bye, Lee."

Hinata hung up the phone and got dressed in her black jeans and black t-shirt with the skulls and ribbons and the red hem with the skulls on it and her netting sleeves. She tugged on her black knee-high hobnailed boots and shrugged on her long cream-colored sweater with the high collar, long bell sleeves that went over her fingertips, and the white strips of fabric that pulled it all together. Her long black hair falling into her copper eyes (which had newly applied makeup around them), she attached Akamaru's leash to his collar and led him outside.

"Akamaru," Hinata began, "I'm gonna bring you with me. That alright, boy?"

Akamaru yipped brightly, and even Hinata, in times of troubles, had to break a smile.

In Azkaban, Hinata walked over to Lee. Her black lips twitched, but she hid her smile. "Hello, sir."

Lee grinned. "Yes, ma'am?"

"I'm here to see Remus Lupin."

Lee burst out laughing, and Hinata laughed a bit herself. Akamaru barked again, and Lee peered down at the small white pup.

"This your dog, Hinata?" he asked, bending down next to Akamaru.

Hinata nodded. "Yup. His name's Akamaru."

"Too much Anime for your own good, I see." Lee chuckled. Hinata grinned as Lee stood, his thin frame straightening. "Want to go on your own?"

Hinata nodded. "Yeah. I'm good. Thanks, though, for the offer."

Lee nodded, and Hinata walked down the corridor to the door at the end. With a sigh, she pushed it open and led Akamaru inside, shutting the door behind her. She walked despondently down the hall, slower then last time, to the end cell. Akamaru sniffed at the bars of the cell and whimpered, hiding behind Hinata's boot.

Remus, his hair falling into his eyes, looked up. "Hinata." he stood.

"I heard you were asking for me." Hinata said, avoiding her brother's eyes.

"And I heard you were never coming back."

"I didn't come back for you, Lupin." she snarled, jerking her head up, and Remus took a step back. Hinata knew why; she never referred to him by their last name. "I'm just here for Lee. But he told me that you were asking for me, so Akamaru and I came."

Remus nodded. He looked down at Akamaru, who stared up at him with large eyes and hid deeper behind Hinata.

"See?" she spat. "Even Akamaru doesn't like you. Nor do I."

"Hinata!" Remus breathed, looking at his sister with poignant eyes. "Come on, please, Hinata, I want to talk to you."

"So talk!" Hinata said. "I'm listening! Barely."

Remus sighed. "Hinata….I'm sorry about yesterday. I didn't mean to snap at you. I really didn't. I'm really sorry. I don't want to die. It's….it's the Hypodextria, you know that."

Hinata sighed, her eyes downcast again and trembling from how serious the situation suddenly becomes again and her livid anger begins to disappear. "I know. It's my fault too. I shouldn't have been so hard on you."

But Remus shook his head. "No, sister, you had a right to be hard on me. I….I deserve all of it, I deserve all of what you feel for me."

Hinata looked up at Remus. "You know they're going to kill you, don't you?"

Remus bit his lip. "I heard rumors from the other cells down in the other corridor….but I didn't believe it. I'm trying, Hinata, I really am, to get better, but Hypodextria doesn't work on will power. It's destroying me. Hinata….." his own eyes began to tear. "Hinata, I don't want to die."

"I know, Remus, I know." Hinata murmured. "Maybe….maybe I can talk them out of it." she then said, her eyes brightening. "It's in five days, maybe I can talk them out of it by then."

Remus raised an eyebrow skeptically. "What happened to, 'Remus, I'm never going to help you ever again as long as I live let the devil take your soul'?"

Hinata laughed a bit. "Well….I guess what you said sort of got to me."

"Hinata…." Remus then started softly, "will I ever get out of here? Even if you manage to talk the council out of it?"

Hinata shrugged. "I'm not sure. We don't really know all about Hypodextria, do we? I can ask Lee. Maybe he knows."

Remus smiled slyly. "Is my sister getting back into the dating game?" he said in mock surprise.

Hinata blushed, her eyes flashing. "Remus!"

"Just kidding, just kidding!" Remus said defensively. "But, truly. Lee?"

Hinata smiled. "Well….he's pretty cool."

"Not just because his name reminds you of Naruto?"

"That's just one of the reasons, and Naruto's cool too, don't you forget it!"

"I won't. I won't ever. I'll remember everything, Hinata, I won't ever yell at you again."

"Promise?"

"I….I promise."

"Good."

The two siblings fell into silence. After a moment Remus then blinked, a gasp escaping his cracked lips and he stumbled a bit. Hinata looked up, her eyes widening, and Akamaru began to bark wildly.

"Remus, what is it?" Hinata demanded, clutching at the bars of the cell so tightly her knuckles turned whiter then ever.

"Hinata….it-it's my head…." Remus's voice was a hoarse whisper and he raised a hand to his head, gripping the bars for support. "I….it hurts….badly…"

Hinata found it hard to breathe as she looked at her brother, her eyes wide. Panic churned around inside of her, mixing with fear, and a schizophrenically wild look of all of her worried emotions was sprayed over her face. At last, she found her voice.

"I'll get Lee….hold on, Remus!"

Akamaru at her heels, Hinata fled down the corridor, blasting the door off of it's hinges with her wand and barreling back to the front desk. She clutched at her chest, panting heavily, leaning against the desk, and Lee looked up, panic in his eyes.

"Hinata!" Lee stood and looked at her with wide eyes. "What is it?"

Hinata was starting to regain her breath, but she was finding it hard to breathe again with the panic and worry that she felt. "Lee, it…it's my brother…." she breathed, her eyes swimming with tears.

Lee's eyes bored into her. "Hinata, what happened? What's wrong with him?" he demanded.

"It's his head." Hinata said softly. "He says it hurts."

"Come on, then!"

Lee ran down the corridor, Hinata fast behind him, Akamaru racing behind them. They ran through the open doorway (the door lay discarded on the floor next to the door) and down to Remus's cell, where he still stood against the bars, his countenance twisted into an expression of pure pain, his hand to his head, his eyes closed.

Lee got there first, right up against the bars. "Remus! Remus, what's wrong?"

Hinata then appeared behind him, panting again, leaning against the wall as she regained her breath once more. As she watched her brother she felt herself start to cry, tears welling inside her eyes and streaming down her face.

"It….it's my head…." Remus murmured, stumbling again. "God, it hurts…."

Hinata sunk to the floor, hugging Akamaru to her chest, and he licked her face, trying to cheer her up, but as Hinata felt his love she cried harder, thinking about the love she would lose if Remus went away.

"Lee…." she whispered forlornly. "Please, Lee, tell me there's something you can do…."

Lee looked at Hinata and then back at Remus. "I'm not really sure, but…..I could call."

"You could?!" Hinata yelled, her eyes flashing. "Damn you, Lee, you should! You will! I'll force that bloody phone into your hands if I have to! Call, man, call!"

Lee nodded and raced back to the desk. Remus slid down to the floor, holding his head in his hands and sobbing, muttering something about the pain. Hinata reached out and touched her brother's shoulder.

"Don't worry, Remus, don't worry. It….it'll be alright."

But she was trying to convince herself more then her brother.

"Alright, Akamaru, you ready to do this, boy?"

"Arf! Arf! Arf!"

"Ha ha! Alright, Akamaru, go get it!"

The white pup dashed after the spinning disk; he leapt into the air and caught it in his mouth, falling back down to earth gently. Akamaru raced back to Hinata and barreled into her, knocking her to the ground in her long black sweater and black jeans. Hinata, laughing, hugged Akamaru to her chest, looking up at the sky.

"You crazy puppy, you!" she smiled, rubbing his head lovingly. Akamaru closed his eyes and squirmed, yipping in pleasure. Hinata then took of her sweater, tying it around her waist, revealing her black t-shirt with the words 'I'm Wrong And That Rules' on it in red. She sat up and threw the disk again, Akamaru leaping after it. She watched him before she was distracted by the sound of a melodic rhythm of music. She listened closer and it happened to be a Nickelback song- her cell phone.

She dug around in the pockets of her jeans and dug out her phone. Flipping it open, she put it up to her ear quickly.

"Hello?"

"Hinata!"

The voice was urgent, blaring, panicked.

"Lee?" Hinata blinked. "Lee, what is it?"

"Hinata, it's happened, the most horrible thing has happened!"

Akamaru barreled into Hinata again and knocked her over once more, but Hinata had her mind fixed on the phone call from Lee and shoved Akamaru off of her chest. He looked at her with a questioning whimper.

"Lee, tell me!" Hinata demanded, hugging her knees to her chest. "What happened?"

"It….it's…." Lee sighed. He sounded so different now then the laughing voice that he had used on their date the day before. What could make him sound so sad? Hinata wondered. "Hinata, it's your brother."

Hinata's free hand instantly groped for Akamaru's warm body for support as her eyes stretched wide. Akamaru huddled against her chest, looking up at Hinata with wide, scared eyes. "Lee….what happened?"

"Well, we're not sure. Remus went to St. Mungo's this morning; his headache was that bad. I'm sorry, Hinata, but….they're saying his Hypodextria was too extreme. They're saying he might die." Lee murmured softly.

Akamaru whined and Hinata's bottom lip trembled. "Honestly? Truly? You….you aren't lying?"

"Hinata, would I lie about this?" Lee said impatiently. "Of course not! It's true. Beyond true. It's happening. Where are you?"

"The park, with Akamaru."

"Do you want to come to St. Mungo's?"

"Yes."

"Then I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah."

Hinata hung up, shoving her phone into her jeans. She stood, shrugging her sweater back on and buttoning the middle button on her sweater. She set Akamaru down and looked at him.

"Come on, Akamaru. We're going to St. Mungo's."

Hinata shoved people aside on the streets, running down the sidewalk and disappearing through the window of the deserted store, Akamaru at her heels. She raced straight into Lee, who caught her, a red tint creeping up his face as he held her in his arms. Hinata blushed herself and instantly stepped out of his arms, Akamaru catching up to them.

"Where is he?" she demanded.

"Follow me."

Lee led the way down the corridor and to a room, where a tall girl with long blonde hair twirled into two long braids stood, flipping through papers. Hinata instantly recognized her as Tess; she had seen her before, back when Hinata herself had been in St. Mungo's because her mother thought that she was more then slightly schizophrenic and demanded taking her to St. Mungo's (turns out that nothing was really wrong and Hinata was just begin her random self.). Tess looked up, her vivid green eyes sympathetic as they met Hinata's copper ones. She slowly walked over.

"We may be too late." she informed her softly. "His Hypodextria is pretty bad. What caused it, anyway? Maybe we can do something for him, and maybe not, if we know what happened."

"He lost his best friends." Hinata said softly. Akamaru sat down at her heels, whining pitifully. "Sirius Black and James Potter. He lost them and he forgot about me. He went nuts. And then he got Hypodextria."

Tess nodded understandably. "Well….all we can do is wait."

"I _hate _waiting." Hinata growled, crossing her arms over her chest, her hands disappearing behind the long bell sleeves of her sweater.

Lee grinned a bit. "I couldn't tell from the way you practically dragged me around on our date."

Even Hinata had to crack a smile at his remark. Akamaru barked, his eyes shining, and Hinata bent down and scooped him up into her arms.

The two stayed in the room all day. They eventually got tired of standing and conjured some chairs; they played Go Fish with the cards, fetch with Akamaru, and then started jinxing objects in the room. It was enough to distract them from the pain of Remus.

Lee had gone up to go to the soda machine on one of the other floors, and Hinata turned her eyes to the figure of her brother laying motionless on the bed before her. She watched him for a long while and widened her eyes as his eyes twitched and a groan escaped his lips. Hinata leaned forward as Remus's gold-rimmed brown eyes fluttered open.

"Hinata…."

"I'm here, brother, I'm here." Hinata stood and ran to his side, taking his hand. "Remus…."

"Hinata," Remus murmured softly, blinking his eyes up at his sister, "you know I'm dying, don't you?"

Hinata looked down at him despondently. "But….but you can't die, Remus, you're my brother and I love you, I'd die without you."

"But I am dying. I'm sorry. It's all my fault." Remus sighed, his eyes tearing.

"No." Hinata insisted. "No, it's not your fault. It's not your fault James and Sirius died. It's Voldemort's. Come on, Remus, you can't die!"

"Hinata?"

"Yes?"

"I love you. You're my sister. As long as you remember that I'll never be gone from you."

"But…." Hinata's bottom lip trembled. "But you'll still be dead."

"You'll have your memories and I'll have mine. I just wish this hadn't happened."

"So do I….but most of my memories are painful, they won't all suffice!" Hinata breathed. "Remus, you can't die!"

A tear ran down Remus's face. "Hinata…..I….I'm sorry…..that I wasn't….there for you when….when you needed me." his breath was becoming shallower and spaced, his eyes glinting sharply with pain and sliding in and out of them. "But I….I'm happy that….you're here…..for me when…..I need you…even though I….I'm dying."

Hinata found no words to speak, her voice clogged with tears, much like the black ones that danced down her face. "Please don't leave me."

"Hinata….I'll never….leave you….I'll…I'll always be….with you."

"But you're dying!" Hinata wailed. Remus laughed shakily.

"Can't….can't get over that….can you?" he murmured with a grin. "Don't…don't worry, Hinata. You….you have Lee….and Akamaru…..and you'll….you'll always have me. I'll never leave you."

And Hinata gasped as his eyes glazed over for the final time and his last breath escaped his lips, his eyes closing. She let go of his hand, which had grown cold, and took a step back.

He was dead.

* * *

(And, yeah, I know...really abrupt ending...but I like it! I think that it flows! PLEASE DON'T HURT ME!)


End file.
